This may sound interesting coming from someone that would be considered a self help guru, yet I hear this so many times from people. I tried one of them self help book and it didn’t change anything, they all say the same thing anyway and it’s not going to help me.Ever hear people make those kind of comments? I am pretty sure most of you have, if you haven’t made them yourself. As a coach and motivational speaker I fully understand those people, I didn’t get to where I am just because of one author, one speaker or one audio program.
For me this was an interesting journey, not of self exploration but more of self creation. I was one of those people for quite a while that would make the same statements that I now hear. Now if we think back to those wonderful years at when we were in school, and some of you probably still are in school. Then what teachers were able to reach you? Did you and all of your friends understand the same teachers? Were there some teachers who seemed to understand you better than others? Why do you think that is? Just like with any other person you will come across they will either be able to reach you or they will not be able to, and vice versa.
Just because someone is a best selling author, well known name or famous does not make an equation to them being able to reach your or explain things in a way that you understand. That is why people write differently, talk differently and use different metaphors. Just because you read one book and it didn’t help you does not mean that no book or no speaker will be able to help you understand exactly how easy it is to create a change in your life. How many things that you fully understood were hard to do? Probably not many right? That is why goal gurus will tell you that change is easy, the only question is do you get it? Which brings us to the next chris hsu hong kong point, even though you find someone that can reach you or you do understand, there is still the little obstacle of you understanding the information and using it.
That is if you try to take information that is new and make it fit into the way you already think, then the information isn´t really helping you much now is it? The reason you probably went and bought the book or paid to go see that speaker was to get a chance to think outside of the box, right? But are you doing that or are you trying to cram the information into your box? I think Einstein said it best: “You can not get yourself out of a situation with the same thought process that got you into it in the first place.” What does that mean, it means that you have to take the information and use it to expand or break out of your box instead of making it fit into what you already think is “reality”, “the truth” or the way things really are! If you were looking to expand you box you probably already realized that what you are doing isn’t working to get you what you want.
Which means that the way you think isn’t working with you, in fact it is working against you. Why do most people do this? First of all, nobody likes to wrong, right? So what if there is no such thing as wrong, what if there is only what got you to where you are, and then what will get you to where you want to be next? The saying goes, if you do what you have always done you will get what you have always gotten. So if you keep reading the same book, listening to the same speakers and talking to the same life coach without really advancing, chances are you should be doing exactly what they are telling you to do, try something or someone different!
So what is the reality of blaming the self help gurus for you not making a change in your life? Well first of all by blaming someone else for your lack of success takes away all your power to create a change because now you are expecting it to be someone else´s responsibility. If you on the other hand seek out a different speaker, a different life coach or a different book, you are once again taking the power back and doing what most of us will in fact advice you to do. If what you are doing is not working, do something else, anything else!