So you’ve made it into the stadium and you are now stepping onto the playing field for your first day of practice with the Dallas Cowboys. Nervous excitement courses through your veins as the coach talks about the various formations he is going to run the team through and begins to discuss the different play calls and strategies he will be using during this season’s games.
While much of what the coach talks about initially lies within the realm of football common sense and comes easily to you, there are a few nuances in the game plan that you will be unfamiliar with. Also, some of the plays are new to you and could cause complications and confusion in the season ahead if you don’t understand them.
A team’s language will guide you in how to interact and communicate with your teammates on the playing field. This language that each player must learn is full of individual components, called the “plays.” For each “play,” there is a “plan.” Each of these “plays” and “plans” has been specially formulated through years of research and scientific study, producing entire systems of proven techniques that can make winners out of the players and teams playnews.
Once the methods were proven effective, they were gathered together and worked into a playbook for each team to base its “plays” and “plans” on. It is that playbook that each teammate must learn in order to be part of the winning team. This process is much the same as that of the “plays” and “plans” of a relationship. You need to read the manual, learn from those who are already where you want to be in their relationships and listen actively to your partner in order to learn how to speak their language. Once you learn this language, you can enter the game confidently and achieve victory!
A woman’s perception of her relationship, as well as the language she uses within a relationship may seem very complicated, and sometimes confusing. You may find particular things in her language syntax that are hard to understand and certainly difficult to interpret! And as if that weren’t enough, many women have a tendency to turn over and over in their heads most of what is said to them, finding more than what may actually be there.
While men tend to go with the flow without over-analyzing things, women try to find out what’s behind the words they see and hear when dealing with their loved ones. This process is intuitively part of their naturally protective circuitry, helping them emotionally guard themselves and their loved ones. Have you ever heard the statement, “You don’t want to mess with Mother Bear?” This applies here because women are built as nurturers and maintain a natural curiosity about their environment, in order to help them protect themselves and those they love from perceived dangers.
This natural curiosity triggers what I like to call the “need to know” gene. Women have the “need to know” or to discover all the “information” about their surroundings and then make judgment calls as to any dangers that may affect those they love. This of course, can lead to any number of natural responses to the perceived dangers of their surroundings and an inherent desire to analyze all causes and effects. Because curiosity (analyzing) is a natural response for women, it tends to bleed over into other areas of their lives, namely their relationships.
In addition to analyzing most of what is said to them, women may often have hidden meaning in what they say, even if they don’t intend to put it there. Men are not as complicated (in a good way) with their spoken language. What men say is most often what they mean. So, why is it that so many women seem to include hidden messages behind their words? In the same way that women tend to over-analyze things, sometimes they also include hidden meaning in their spoken words. The reasons for this can be partially found by looking at the traditional upbringing and social history of women.
Parents and other adults teach women, at a very early age, that they need to be strong, confident and know what they want. They are also told that they need to be assertive and independent in order to succeed at fulfilling their dreams and desires for their future.
In reality, though, oftentimes the media image of a woman is much different. Society in general, sees images of successful women on television and in the movies that are more demure and non-aggressive, but still get what they need and desire.
The woman on television or in the media, who ends up with the man of her dreams, may have played it “coy,” playing off on her seeming “need” for the man. The media image presented is often in direct conflict with the way that a woman may have been raised. Because of these two conflicting images, women have now received mixed messages and are subjected to confusing images about the way they should behave in society. On top of this, women see the men around them as being intrigued and often fascinated by the media image of a woman, an image that may not always interconnect with the ideals and values that they, as women, were brought up with.